When Mum and I first started supporting Mary Potter Hospice it was a huge thank you for the care my Dad George received. It also felt like a bit of an insurance policy.
Neither of us ever imagined we’d need their assistance again so soon.
My mum Kay was a talented gardener, a jigsaw puzzle designer, always cheerful, and the rock of our family.
Life can throw some awful curve balls, and thankfully Mary Potter Hospice was there to catch ours when mum also was diagnosed with cancer.
You just never know what’s around the corner. Please donate to Mary Potter so they can continue to be there when families face the terrible times that we have.
My father’s cancer was slow, and by the time I’d driven him to one of his last hospital appointments almost all the grieving had been done in advance. It was very different with my mum.
Exactly a year ago, on 5 March, we commemorated Dad’s passing in the Hospice in 2022. I took my Mum and sister to Moores Valley nursery to buy a rhododendron we could plant at the house Mum, and I shared. Mum and Dad were lifelong enthusiastic gardeners and rhodos were Dad’s favorites. We had a great day looking at the plants and choosing a few. We had a quick bite to eat at Seaview by the boats in the sunshine to round out a memorable day.
A couple of weeks later, under close supervision, I dug four holes and planted them. Mum was always the brains in the garden. She could name every plant in Latin and English. She was a very fit 81 doing up to four hours gardening a day, but digging holes required too much muscle and needed some weight behind the spade.
My mum Kay was the rock of our family
In April 2024, Mum went to her GP with “brain fog”. We’d both had Covid but she felt she was making a slow recovery. The doctor ordered some blood tests and she went to her writing club the day after. Over the weekend she deteriorated so the doctor ran some cognitive tests. Mum had passed some recently with flying colours to get her driving licence renewed so the doctor had a good baseline.
A CAT scan revealed the devastating news that she had a brain tumor – inoperable and aggressive. The prognosis was six months with lots of radiation and chemo or three months without.
The following week I worked from home and kept a diary of how many hours I’d be able to work at my desk each day and look after mum. I was keen to support her at home for as long as we could manage. But she deteriorated very quickly. Within just a few days Mum was in Mary Potter Hospice for palliative care.
Mary Potter were fantastic. They managed her drugs so she was conscious and her pain and spasms were controlled, so family could visit. Her loss of speech meant communication became limited to the squeeze of a hand or blinking for yes or no.
My nephew played his acoustic guitar in the room and my niece played the piano across the corridor.
Mum passed away a little over a week from being admitted to the Hospice and just 20 days from her diagnosis.
My mother was a rock supporting her family and friends with huge strength and courage and generosity her entire life. We all miss that support and love terribly.
Now almost every day I know she would have pointed out a bush or plant in bloom to me. I hope I can keep my promise to her to find a keen gardener to sell the house to. It’s too big for just me.
I give in gratitude to the Hospice – knowing from experience that they are there when needed.
I know there are many of you that also want to say a huge thank you to the Hospice. Your donations help ensure that the Hospice is there for others when they need its care too.
Thank you
Steve Luck
PS Just as Mum and Dad’s journeys at the Hospice were very different, so are the ways that you can donate. Mum and I joined the Starlight Circle to show our support every month, or you could choose to make a one-off gift today. Either way, the Hospice is very grateful for your generosity.
PPS Your generous gift to Mary Potter supports a free service for all Wellingtonians. And don’t forget that your donation by 31 March is eligible for a one-third tax credit in April!
My parents Kay and George