Painting beautiful flowers was Tess’s therapy during her husband’s long illness and time with Mary Potter Hospice.
While Tess didn’t have much chance to relax during Corey’s four-year illness, raising two daughters and being his primary caregiver, it gave her solace when she found the time to sit and paint.
“On this journey I’ve used it more as kind of therapy. It’s almost like it’s a meditation, a way of slowing down and processing and doing something that feels really good.”
Tess says her latest paintings were inspired by the roses in the Hospice garden courtyard.
“The rose is called Scent to Remember. Luckily we were there during summer so it was blooming. Our room opened out onto the courtyard. You could be immersed by nature, even though you are the middle of the city.
“It’s such a little sanctuary and we spent a lot of time just walking around. It was probably the extent of what Corey could do. The roses brought a lot of joy and beauty and appreciation of the small things, because that’s all you can really do at that point.”
Tess says flowers are important to her.
“They give us all a bit of a smile. They remind us that while life can be short, it is also beautiful. And I love bumble bees. They remind you of sunshine and summer and they’re happy little fuzzy things. I know that’s not particularly deep, but sometimes that’s just what you need.
“My sister, while we were at Hospice, would do stealth gardening. She would plant a whole lot of flowers in my garden so I’d come home to beautiful blooms.”
Now Tess’s days are full with looking after their 11 and 8 year old daughters and finding her feet again after a difficult few years.
“I still feel like I’m sort of in recovery and sometimes it’s a matter of just getting through the day. The girls are my focus and they’re doing really well. We miss Corey so much in every moment, but try to focus on remembering the good times.”
Tess says throughout Corey’s illness they tried to keep their girls informed. She thinks it has helped them to understand what happened. Hospice helped with this, providing resources on how to talk to kids about illness and death, as well as age appropriate books for them to read together.
In all, Corey spent several months in the Hospice inpatient unit in Newtown – in and out several times for symptom control, especially pain.
“It was such an incredible place for us because it was a sanctuary. It’s a really lovely spot. The people are lovely. Everyone single one of them is so caring and kind. It’s hard to put into words just how much that genuine care meant to us during such a difficult time.
“When Corey was in hospital for weeks, the kids couldn’t visit him in the ward because they were under 12. Whereas at Hospice they could spend time there, hanging out. We were there a few times so it didn’t feel like a scary place for them.”
“The last time we thought we were there for respite. The doctor was so kind when they told us we’re in end of life care now. We managed to fly in his brother from overseas and one of his friends and the whole family was welcome there for the last couple of weeks.
“We could focus on being together rather than trying to do all other things if he was at home.”
Tess says Corey was a wonderful person. “He was a true entrepreneur and driven to do good in the world. He started his first company at 21 and had a quiet confidence. Family was very important to him.”
They met at 15 and were together from 21. The first child arrived when they were 24, “and we just built our life together”.
“He was the driving force. He got us a house and just kept us moving forward. We got married in the first year he had cancer. A year and a half later, with a grim prognosis and midway through treatment, we travelled overseas for Corey’s brother’s wedding and had a wonderful five week holiday exploring Canada and Europe. Corey was never one to let anything slow him down. And in the midst of all that Corey was still working hard and even went into business again with a close friend. He was determined to help shape a better world a leave a legacy for his girls.
Tess has now given a number of her prints to the Hospice to sell, in gratitude for the care they received. The work is called Scent to Remember and was inspired by the courtyard roses.
“I am so thankful to Hospice staff and volunteers. They really made a difference and I wanted to acknowledge that in whatever way I could. I thought I would use this painting as a fundraiser for Hospice and when I first popped it on my socials I got such a lovely response. I will continue to donate to Hospice.
“I know it won’t be a lot, but it’s something that I can do.”