Hearing there was a ‘time limit’ on her life was tough, but for Gay the support of her family, including young grand daughter Trinity has helped.
“I’d had cancer before but this was different – a time limit on your life.
“My grandchildren all call me Little Nana. Trinity said ‘Little Nana, is it ok if I come to your appointments with you. I want to know what’s going on. She’s been really involved. It’s been such a help.”
As well as the support of her family, Gay has had Mary Potter Hospice on her team too.
“It was amazing. Everybody came in and helped. Me and my family didn’t know where to begin and the kids were still in shock.
“I had nurses coming to see me. Doctor, social worker, occupational therapist – they were absolutely fantastic. And I thought, this is so good – someone is here to help.”
“It was all just part of the Mary Potter Hospice service,” she said.
Gay then had a visit from Susie, who runs the Hospice day programme who suggested she come along to connect with other patients.
“I had withdrawn into myself and didn’t want people to know. I said I didn’t want to sit with people and talk about death.
But I didn’t realise what was on offer. I agreed to go to the Christmas lunch and I was blown away. They were so welcoming. It was a beautiful experience.
And Trinity has been to the day programme too, supporting her Little Nana and connecting with the other patients.
“It’s a hard journey. But without all these people around it would have been a lot harder.”
In her working life, dressmaking was Gay’s passion, making everything from dance costumes to wedding dresses, and teaching night school classes.
She also had other jobs and raised her three children, always in her home turf of north Wellington.
She now has eight grandchildren and great grandchildren too. And has lived in the same house in Tawa for 40 years.
But then Gay had another shock when she was told that a scan showed no sign of the cancer.
Gay said that you’d think that was the best news ever.
“But that was hard to get used to too. I was organising my funeral and next minute, ok, I’m not dying now. I’d put my house on the market. Decluttered. The kids were onboard.
“But again, I had the support of the Hospice.”
The Hospice wasn’t going to end ties with Gay because of her clear scan. While Gay no longer needed hospice services, she still needed the comfort and companionship that she’d been receiving.
“I still had the day programme. I got lucky and became a volunteer after that. If I couldn’t be a volunteer it would be like losing a limb.
“Now I do whatever I can to help. Whether that be helping with activities, driving, or just listening. Last year I was given a service award which blew me away because I’ve never had anything like that before.
“The Hospice appreciates what you do. It might be just making a cup of tea but you’re appreciated.”
Gay says she has taken up making crafts thanks to the ideas she received doing some of the day programme activities. She collects shells, pumice and driftwood and makes gifts for the Hospice patients.
“I’ve met like-minded people at the Hospice going through the same things. It can have an amazing impact on your life. It can make a sad journey into a beautiful journey.
“I got lucky and I’ll take the win. I know I’m blessed.”